Role Models

Role Models (2008) – The characters are all jerks and weirdoes, and it isn’t funny at all; movies like this are why you should always stay on top of your Netflix queue. 4

Richard Pryor: Live in Concert

Richard Pryor: Live in Concert (1979) – Richard Pryor is usually a very funny guy – here, his voices, sound effects and faces are great, but too many of these jokes are lacking. 5

Dieppe

Dieppe (1993) – It’s nice to see Victor Garber in a prominent role, but this whole business is much too slow and boring – it should been a movie, not a miniseries. 5

Babies

Babies (2010) – It’s reasonably entertaining to compare and contrast the lifestyles and antics of babies around the world, but this film is content to keep things simple and superficial. 6

Scourge of Worlds: A Dungeons & Dragons Adventure

Scourge of Worlds: A Dungeons & Dragons Adventure (2003) – Part movie, part game, this film version of the classic D&D Endless Quest books has subpar graphics but a nice story and entertaining if cookie-cutter characters; it makes a great rental since it’s good for about a half-dozen plays. 7

Timecrimes

Timecrimes (2007) – This conceptually-neat tale of a buffoon who’s obviously never watched a time-travel movie in his life or heard of causality, and who’s alarmingly quick to embrace psychotic/masochistic tendencies (depending on how you want to look at it), teaches us the dangers of multiplying idiots; like all time-travel movies, the logic of this one breaks down under scrutiny, but it’s an impressive debut for Vigalondo. 6

The Terminal Man

The Terminal Man (1974) – It takes too long to develop, it glosses over its key themes for too long, it absolutely crawls, and it has no real payoff. 4

The Lathe of Heaven

The Lathe of Heaven (1980) – It’s a satisfyingly immersive and thoughtful look at the responsibilities and ethics of playing God; the dated seventies styles actually work in the film’s favor. 7

Mad Max

Mad Max (1979) – Sure, it’s a little bit melodramatic, but the time the film spends on both the good guys and bad guys makes the danger real and personal, and it gives the story genuine suspense; it’s also got some very nice car chases/crashes. 7

The Secret of Kells

The Secret of Kells (2009) – Despite the Cartoon Network-style animation, the visuals are a spectacular plus, but the story is an equally great minus: there’s very little actual conflict, and these themes have all been done before, ad nauseum; plus it’s remarkable that even though nearly every character is a monk, there’s zero mention of Christianity (the film seems to go out of its way), but plenty of pre-Christian Irish mythology. 5

Phase IV

Phase IV (1974) – This one-of-a-kind film is genuinely creepy – the ant footage is fantastic; I think something like this is going on in my house. 7

Knowing

Knowing (2009) – If you can get past the inherent silliness (something of a staple for Nic Cage recently), it’s pretty entertaining, although it never really figures out what it wants to say teleologically; the last ten minutes are particularly messy, both  narratively and theologically. 6

Iron Man 2

Iron Man 2 (2010) – It’s decent enough, I guess, but the script is bloated and cartoony and the fight scenes are woefully unimpressive, and for a superhero movie, the conflict is remarkably low-stakes; I never thought Sam Rockwell could be tiresome, but he certainly is here. 6

Yesterday Was a Lie

Yesterday Was a Lie (2008) – It’s obviously super low budget; even so, the noir is good looking (but man, take it easy with those fog machines), although it can’t make up its mind what decade it’s in; the sci-fi, meanwhile, is ridiculous nonsense; it’s impossible to take Kipleigh Brown seriously as an actress here, especially in that stupid hat. 3

Incident at Loch Ness

Incident at Loch Ness (2004) – If you know going in what this film really is, it’s extremely boring (and it’s probably fairly boring otherwise), unless perhaps you’re into the whole film-within-a-film-within-a-film bit. 5