Unknown

Unknown (2011) – Quite reminiscent of Frantic, this film takes an awful lot of contrivance to make it go, and when it does, it’s mysterious but not suspenseful (and occasionally dumb); Liam Neeson and Bruno Ganz keep it from being completely forgettable. 6

Season of the Witch

Season of the Witch (2011) - Calling this a bigger, crappier Black Death (even if true) isn’t fair to either film; they do different things and have different problems; here, these include the lighting, the writing, and Nicholas Cage; on the whole, though, it’s a passable (barely) but silly and forgettable adventure movie with some solid horror visuals; Ron Perlman helps quite a bit. 6  

Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog

Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog (2008) – The songs, on the whole, are considerably better than expected; mostly cheesy, this film seems content not to do a whole lot until well into the final act, which is interesting if for no other reason than that it abruptly decides it doesn’t want to be cutesy anymore (a questionable move); this will certainly appeal to the “Fillion is super-cool” and “NPH is super-cool” crowds. 6

Amazon Women on the Moon

Amazon Women on the Moon (1987) – When a movie tries to be “bad” on purpose, it will invariably succeed in one way or another; this one, with its spastic structure and so many obvious gags, is tiresome more than anything else (especially than funny); David Alan Grier and Ed Begley, Jr. are the scant highlights (that’s only about five minutes worth; you could just look those clips up on Youtube – heck, let me do it for you). 5

Faster

Faster (2010) – Dwayne Johnson glares his way through this gritty film that so obviously wants to be The Good, the Bad and the Ugly that it throws in a massive and unnecessary (and unsuccessful) attempt to make the hitman sympathetic; it doesn’t mind at all dusting off the old “cop about to retire” trope; the scene with the Evangelist is fantastic; it’s always nice to see Lester Speight. 6

Black Death

Black Death (2010) – Grim throughout, it’s slow starting but builds to a genuinely suspenseful final act; for all its visceral horror and good atmosphere, though, it fails to fully engage the emotions or endear Osmund to the audience, perhaps because it’s trying so hard not to take sides. 6

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010) – The style you know about already; the worst part of this spastic film isn’t the boring fight scenes or the awful one-liners or the juvenile hipster fantasy randomness – it’s that Michael Cera’s character is completely annoying; heck, I thought his Chinese high school girlfriend was nice. 5

Red

Red (2010) – It’s dumb, ridiculous, and over-the-top, and it good and well knows it – it’s also completely entertaining, and what a fantastic cast; this is one of the better disposable action blockbusters in recent memory. 6