The Old Dark House

The Old Dark House (1963) – The cast is quite good, although the script is weak and the film leans too hard on Poston’s slapstick; the original, to which this bears little resemblance, is superior. 5

Mr. Sardonicus

Mr. Sardonicus (1961) – While the psychology at work is pretty dubious, this is an engaging, well-paced film; Sardonicus’s face is simultaneously super-fake and super-creepy. 6

Boy Wonder

Boy Wonder (2010) – First of all, the title and taglines are completely wrong – the film doesn’t even approach the discussion of whether he’s a hero, plus he’s not even a real costume; moving on, this gritty film is largely carried by good jobs all around from a cast of unknowns, even though it’s hard to find somebody to root for and hard to believe this emo Punisher kid wouldn’t have gotten killed five times over; and, while the plot fits together a tad too neatly, the film does achieve some real emotional weight. 6

*Batteries Not Included

*Batteries Not Included (1987) – Hume Cronyn and Jessica Tandy are great, and the film succeeds at being charming and somewhat endearing, even if the story is a bit sloppy and it fails utterly at being funny. 6

Pink Floyd: The Wall

Pink Floyd: The Wall (1982) – It does a more or less adequate job of presenting the eponymous album’s story of isolation, and though it’s sometimes slow and repetitious, it features a good deal of striking, unsettling, memorable imagery, most of the highlights of which are the too-few animated segments. 6

Hugo

Hugo (2011) – Scorsese’s paean to the art of early film is gorgeous and near-perfect from a technical standpoint; to its detriment, however, it does not focus on Méliès as it ought, a problem that is compounded by the fact that Asa Butterfield is generally unimpressive as Hugo; the film is certainly not without its charm, but in the end, it simply fails to tell a very compelling story. 6

The Thing (2011)

The Thing (2011) – It’s always nice to see a strong, intelligent female protagonist, but this pointless, forgettable prequel/remake brings absolutely nothing new to the table and generates not one iota of suspense; the creatures here don’t seem to be nearly as intelligent here as they are in the Carpenter film, either. 4