The Wild Geese

The Wild Geese (1978) – If you can somehow make it past the title song, you’ll find a fun, slightly thoughtful, slightly dumb, and fairly hammy film with an all-star cast of aging badass mercenaries (it’s lacking only Michael Caine in the Jason Statham role); it’s got some nice character development, but it’s also trying a little too obviously and too preachily not to be racist, which is kind of odd given how steeped in colonialism it is (let’s not even talk about the cartoony gay character). 6

Equilibrium

Equilibrium (2002) – It borrows copiously and obviously from its dystopian betters, and it just isn’t well crafted—it lacks subtlety entirely, Bale’s character is mind-bogglingly sloppy, and nobody involved on either side of the camera seems to have a handle on emotional suppression (Diggs is pretty emotional throughout); yeah, the gun-fu is fundamentally very silly, but it’s everyone’s flagrant and amazing inability to shoot Christian Bale that takes the film into the realm of the ludicrous and makes it impossible to take seriously—and this is a film that dearly wants to be taken seriously. 4

It! The Terror from Beyond Space

It! The Terror from Beyond Space (1958) – It may be noteworthy as the progenitor of Alien, but this is a film that takes itself way more seriously than it has any right to given its rubbery creature, its lack of atmosphere, and, hilariously, its use of cigarettes, toxic gas, grenades, and a bazooka on board a relatively small rocket ship (this sort of amusement, plus its relatively brisk pace and short running time, keep it well within the realm of watchability). 5  

The Running Man

The Running Man (1987) – The direction—particularly of the action scenes—has some issues, but what a glorious, ludicrous ’80s action film this is—Dawson is great, it’s got an all-star cast of cheesy ’80s villains, and it works in a fair amount of good world building and enough social commentary to get by. 7

Edge of Tomorrow

Edge of Tomorrow (2014) – Impressively paced and directed, this is an engrossing film built upon video games’ continue sensibilities; the last five minutes are kind of weak, but Cruise does a nice job and the plot holes are within tolerance. 7

My Neighbor Totoro

My Neighbor Totoro (1988) – This is a lovely little all-ages movie that captures the wonder of childhood as well as any film I’ve seen; with no conflict and little plot, it has to get by entirely on charm, and with its endearing, lifelike characters, it does so easily. 7

The Bank Dick

The Bank Dick (1940) – Fields is at the top of his game here, if you go for that sort of thing, but he just rambles through this haphazard, disjointed film that’s full of clumsy jokes, tiresome hijinks, and bad overacting from much of the supporting cast. 5

Five Deadly Venoms

Five Deadly Venoms (1978) – It’s cheesy as all get out—the dub is terrible, of course, and either the script or the translation is awful (or both); the kung fu (there’s not much of it, proportionally) is passable at best, and while this film makes a respectable attempt at a plot, it’s poorly executed. 5