Harlem Nights

Harlem Nights (1989) – You expect a lot more from a cast with this many comedy greats—Pryor is solid in a restrained performance, but Murphy is underwhelming in all facets, especially in terms of the script (which is horrendously on-the-nose and riddled with clichés) and the direction; in short, it’s just not that funny, and it doesn’t have much in the way of class going for it either. 5

Gamer

Gamer (2009) – It’s got quite a good cast, and while its cribbing from Running Man (and numerous other films) is forgivable, it’s plagued by bad writing and a lack of development; structurally, it’s a mess, and the non-stop violence is just boring; maybe all that excess would have felt like social commentary if the film wasn’t so terribly juvenile and unfocused. 3

Alice in Wonderland

Alice in Wonderland (1951) – This manic film has a weak and hodgepodge narrative, but it’s a singular experience, with great animation and a goodly number of unforgettable characters and sequences. 7

Fury

Fury (2014) – This is a visually excellent, visceral film, and I like what it did with LaBeouf’s character, but the combat is well below average in the realism department (and are those whisper-quiet tanks electric or what?), and the last hour is well beyond silly—but hey, if Shia LaBeouf really got saved then I guess it was all worthwhile. 4

Starship Troopers

Starship Troopers (1997) – It’s full of dodgy acting, cheeseball romance, and weak, dumb scripting (although some of this cheese is surely deliberate), making it, in short, a glossy B-movie; the film’s satire of jingoism and the war film genre is broad and only passably effective, but the immersive world and the good focus on the infantry characters go a long way toward making up for the fact that it isn’t a great action movie. 6

The Equalizer

The Equalizer (2014) – Overlong and slow to get going, this pile of clichés labors under the mistaken impression that it’s a meaningful film; nevertheless, Denzel’s screen presence goes a long way toward making up for the blandest of protagonists, and while this is just one more of his old-man action films, it’s sufficiently satisfying and decently creative in that respect. 6

The Guard

The Guard (2011) – Vaguely unpleasant throughout, it’s clever at times but not really that funny, and with weak plotting and an extremely uneven tone—the serious and silly elements don’t play well together at all—it’s got little going for it beyond quirkiness, making for a rather underwhelming experience. 5

The Sword in the Stone

The Sword in the Stone (1963) – The story’s a bit on the thin side and this one is more life-lesson-instilling than your average Disney fare, but more to the point, it’s also extremely funny, and many of its sequences and elements (the wizards’ duel and the sassy sugar bowl are particular highlights) are thoroughly delightful. 7

Calvary

Calvary (2014) – Gleeson is excellent as the good (if noticeably unspiritual) shepherd of this film, which is thoughtful but feels like a collection of issues in search of a real story—there’s a disconnect between much of the goings-on and the death threat (and it’s utterly inexplicable that he doesn’t go to the police), and it’s tough to care too much about who in this village of contrived, morally bankrupt “quirky” characters is the one planning to do him in. 5