Alice in Wonderland

Alice in Wonderland (1933) – The sets and effects are quite impressive, particularly for the day, but the movie isn’t as interested in telling the story as it is in rushing willy-nilly from one scene to another and making as many big-name actors as possible unrecognizable. 6

Angels & Demons

Angels & Demons (2009) – Like its predecessor, it cuts out much of the controversial religious nonsense (also like its predecessor, it’s factually and logically horrendous – Brown never seems to think much of his audience’s intelligence); it’s watchable, but remarkably silly (it’s hard to imagine, but the book is even more ridiculous); are we really supposed to get excited about some ambigrams? 5

The Ice Pirates

The Ice Pirates (1984) – It’s a fairly silly and incoherent pirate/Star Wars mash-up, although it does have its rare moments; watch out for the space herpes. 5

The Hill

The Hill (1965) – This is a compelling military prison power struggle with a great cast and no real heroes (or no real villains, if you want to look at it that way). 7

The Sign of the Cross

The Sign of the Cross (1932) – It’s a Quo Vadis clone that leans too heavily on a sappy love-at-first-sight story that doesn’t work at all; Laughton is a fine Nero with not enough to do and Colbert looks great; it’s racy for the day; the last thirty minutes are really something to see. 6

I Sell the Dead

I Sell the Dead (2008) – Nice try, but it just isn’t ever very interesting. 5

Paranormal Activity

Paranormal Activity (2007) – It starts out boring, but quickly becomes stupid and boring; it’s high time for the “found footage” genre to take a long rest. 3

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (2009) – A pleasant surprise: it looks great, it does an exceptional job with its relationships, and unlike so many kids’ movies, it’s never too dumb for too long. 7

Bigger Than Life

Bigger Than Life (1956) – It’s not as compelling as it wants to be, but James Mason’s descent into madness makes it worth watching. 6