Friday, January 15, 2010
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3,000! That’s an automatic induction into the sanctimonious movie douchebag hall of fame, right?!
The Deal
I've seen over 3,000 movies, TV shows, and short films, and while I seem to be a little harder to impress than most, I don't need a film to tell me something about the world (although it's nice when that happens); it just needs to involve me or entertain me.
Movies are extremely subjective in many ways, and as such, I'm not really trying to do anything more profound than let you know the impressions a movie made on me, and maybe that will help you figure out whether or not you want to see it.
Anyway, you don't want a big, long review—who has time for all that? You just want to know if the movie is good or not before you get it from Netflix. And yes, probably I hate something you dearly love. Sorry. It happens.
Here are my scores, plus some quick reviews, with everything sortable and conveniently linked to IMDB.com.
By and large, we'll steer clear of spoilers, although there may be some vague ones here and there for older films or if I can get a decent joke out of it.
New posts on Tuesdays and Fridays. I try not to miss a day, but if I do, well, you get what you pay for.
Films are scored on a 10-point scale, with 10 being the highest.
Sort by score here:
10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
Popular labels:
Batman
Star Trek
Star Wars
Superman
TV
"Bible"
TOTAL FILMS SEEN: 3,007
Click here for a complete list of my ratings.
Also visit:
MOTU Review, a commemoration of Masters of the Universe in print media.
Movies are extremely subjective in many ways, and as such, I'm not really trying to do anything more profound than let you know the impressions a movie made on me, and maybe that will help you figure out whether or not you want to see it.
Anyway, you don't want a big, long review—who has time for all that? You just want to know if the movie is good or not before you get it from Netflix. And yes, probably I hate something you dearly love. Sorry. It happens.
Here are my scores, plus some quick reviews, with everything sortable and conveniently linked to IMDB.com.
By and large, we'll steer clear of spoilers, although there may be some vague ones here and there for older films or if I can get a decent joke out of it.
New posts on Tuesdays and Fridays. I try not to miss a day, but if I do, well, you get what you pay for.
Films are scored on a 10-point scale, with 10 being the highest.
Sort by score here:
10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
Popular labels:
Batman
Star Trek
Star Wars
Superman
TV
"Bible"
TOTAL FILMS SEEN: 3,007
Click here for a complete list of my ratings.
Also visit:
MOTU Review, a commemoration of Masters of the Universe in print media.
Blog Archive
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2010
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January
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- Avatar
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- Spartacus
- The Black Hole
- The King of Masks
- Solar Crisis
- Mary Poppins
- Twelve O’Clock High
- Treasure Island
- Scarface
- Buck and the Preacher
- The Seventh Sign
- The Memory Keeper’s Daughter
- The Book of Eli
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- Patton
- Terminal Invasion
- Pandorum
- Gorillas in the Mist
- Cutlass
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- TV: Star Trek: Voyager – A Quick Look
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January
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One sentence, no matter how far I stretch it, cannot fully convey how horrendously God-awful The Seventh Sign is, nor how embarrassingly clueless its makers were. How wonderful that a sinner came to die for Jesus – that’s what the Bible says, right? I don’t even know how you get this far off the mark, but I guess that’s what happens when you make no attempt whatsoever to play by the rules of your chosen mythos. “What kind of God are you?” Demi Moore’s character demands incredulously. Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. John Heard’s character is the only one who’s anywhere close, and he’s only in one scene. And for that matter, why is it always the Catholics in these end-of-the-world movies? Never mind that the Jews and agnostics are trying to help “Jesus” while the Christians (Catholics) stand around oblivious - hasn’t anybody told Hollywood about the Reformation? Furthermore, this film demonstrates precious little awareness of the Catholic understanding of apocalyptic literature, but then again that’s the least of its problems.
ReplyDeleteYour displeasure with The Seventh Sign has given me a great deal of pleasure. Your email you sent out about how angry you were with the movie had Lara and me both on the floor. The amount of energy you put into critiquing it is definitely more than it deserves, but a movie this wrong-headed absolutely demands correction, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteIt demands catharsis, by God.
ReplyDeleteOr exorcism. Demons OUT! Touch!
ReplyDelete