A Million Ways to Die in the West

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014) – Exceedingly vulgar and wildly inconsistent in tone (Liam Neeson seems to be making some other movie entirely), it’s never actually very funny—the largely predictable jokes don’t try very hard, and the anachronism of using modern attitudes to make fun of the West doesn’t have anywhere near enough juice for a full movie. 4

TV: The Tick (2001)

The Tick (2001) – For obvious reasons, it can’t be as ridiculous as the thoroughly delightful cartoon, and not only does it lack its predecessor’s gleeful energy, it often falls into the mundane, as it tends to be short on story and long on chitchat; nevertheless, it has its moments, and it’s frequently amusing if never very funny; the highlight is the cast, headed by Warburton—it’s impossible to imagine a better choice for the title role. 6 

The Monster That Challenged the World

The Monster That Challenged the World (1957) – Here’s a by-the-numbers but generally competent B-horror film with surprisingly respectable creatures (even if they look like larvae rather than mollusks and they mostly just stand there); however, it drags in the middle, it’s got some dumb moments, and it doesn’t build to much of anything (The Monster That Challenged the Salton Watershed doesn’t have quite the same ring to it); Milton Parsons steals his few scenes, but there’s not much to get excited about otherwise. 5

Road House

Road House (1989) – Chalk another one up to the ’80s: over the top in every way and impossible to be taken remotely seriously by anyone but itself, this film feels like it was written by a horny 13-year-old; it manages to be mindlessly entertaining at times (both in spite of and because of its clumsy attempts at romance, sex, and realism), but it’s overlong and it gets rather tiresome by the end. 4

Stake Land

Stake Land (2010) – So here’s a not-for-the-squeamish post-apoc zombie movie playing by vampire rules—it’s well shot and it’s got good atmosphere, and it’s impressive given the budget, but it’s thinly plotted and episodic (it feels like episodes of a web series strung together), it’s got all that awful narration, it’s lacking in character development and pace, and it’s got nothing we haven’t seen before. 5

D.O.A.

D.O.A. (1950) – It has a great premise and some good noir atmosphere, but the writing and direction aren’t so hot—it gets off to a plodding start, it’s got an overdramatic script full of stilted dialogue, the overly convoluted plot is hard to get into, some of the acting is horrendous, the protagonist isn’t sympathetic even though he’s been murdered, and those wolf-whistles are completely unforgivable. 5  

Predator 2

Predator 2 (1990) – It’s perfectly watchable, but it’s unimpressively directed, with plenty of gore but not much suspense; throw in the film’s wild overacting, ham-fisted dialogue, truckload of cop and action movie clichés, and dearth of ideas and you’ve got a good-sized letdown. 5

The Tomb of Ligeia

The Tomb of Ligeia (1964) – It’s got some cool sets and some great outdoor shots, but it’s kind of hammy, and it feels by turns forced, half-baked, and drawn out. 5