The Cabin in the Woods

The Cabin in the Woods (2011) – It’s an interesting twist on a stale, stale genre, and it gets extra points for the ending, but while it’s completely engaging, it gets silly in the last act and the whole thing feels a little gimmicky. 6

Following

Following (1998) – It’s engaging and satisfying, even if it is all implausibly convoluted; in all, this is an impressive piece of work given the minimal budget. 6

The Pirates! Band of Misfits

The Pirates! Band of Misfits (2012) – It’s quite well animated, and it takes a suitably zany approach, but while it’s always at least mildly amusing, it rarely manages to do better (the final act is the strongest). 6

Prometheus

Prometheus (2012) – There seems to be great potential here, and there are plenty of cosmic ideas and mysterious happenings, but there’s not much in the way of substance, resolution, compelling storytelling, or horror sensibilities; in all, it feels like uninspired setup for a sequel (not Alien) tasked with finally getting around to the real issues. 5

3 Idiots

3 Idiots (2009) – It’s unapologetically cartoony, yet it also incorporates a great deal of real, compelling drama – the conflicting tones don’t always play well together, but they get by; and in spite of its overlong running time, some predictability, and script issues, the film is engaging because of its drama, fleshed-out characters, and joie de vivre. 6

The Avengers

The Avengers (2012) – While there are certainly some good times to be had here, with an uncompelling villain and a super-thin story, this overlong film is forced to rely way too heavily on the good guys pointlessly fighting amongst themselves, and it frequently manages to be simultaneously loud and dull; man, Cap’s new outfit looks dumb. 6

The Captains

The Captains (2011) – It’s usually interesting, fairly endearing, and occasionally touching, as well as a little self-indulgent and not frequently insightful; of note are Shatner’s ongoing attempts to deal with his own mortality; what on earth is going on with Avery Brooks here – what is he high on? 6

Batman and Robin (1997)

Batman and Robin (1997) – It actually has a fairly good visual style (bat-nipples aside) and a couple of fine scenes with Alfred, but even accepting that it wants to be a cartoon, the film is painfully, irredeemably, unforgivably stupid on too many occasions to number; no matter how you slice it, Clooney was the wrong choice. 4

Batman Forever

Batman Forever (1995) – From the script to the bat-nipples to the giant codpieces to the repetitive score to the action scenes to the style to the tone to the pandering to young kids, this film is a downgrade in every way from its predecessors; the incessant mugging of TLJ and Carrey is horrific – it’s as though somebody told them both they were playing the Joker; in short, it’s watchable, mildly entertaining even, but impossible to take seriously. 5