Gaslight

Gaslight (1944) – It does a fine job of creating an emotionally smothering, claustrophobic atmosphere, although the entire business is rather apparent from the beginning; one could easily cite a number of plot holes. 6

The Valley of Gwangi

The Valley of Gwangi (1969) – This is a King Kong/Lost World mash-up, only it’s in Mexico; ’twas a feeble dinosaur indeed so easily subdued with lassos and pointy sticks; this film’s only highlight is Harryhausen’s always-superb stop-motion animation. 5

The Deadly Mantis

The Deadly Mantis (1957) – Huzzah for the Ground Observer Corps; otherwise, we’ve been there, done that; the only suspense with B monster movies like this one is how they’ll kill the creature in the last five minutes. 5

Rudy

Rudy (1993) – This heartwarming and inspirational film chronicles Samwise Gamgee’s attempts to make Notre Dame’s football team and get into a game; this is an all-time cheesefest king of contrived and predictable goings-on, and features some astoundingly stilted dialogue. 5

Astropia

Astropia (2007) – It’s a nice idea and a good effort, but the fantasy-world RPG/LARP element doesn’t really work, especially at the end (the film is also not very funny, unless, perhaps, you’re Icelandic); drop the prison storyline, focus on the girl, and you’ve got a significantly better film. 5

Date Night

Date Night (2010) – It doesn’t ever care to be particularly realistic, and it has the occasional false step, but on the whole it’s extremely funny, particularly if you’re married and have kids. 7

Southland Tales

Southland Tales (2006) – I really wanted to like this one, but it’s a big disappointment; it’s got a quality, socially-relevant premise and a solid cast, but without hundreds of pages of evidently-mandatory graphic novel prequel reading (don’t start us on Episode IV, Kelly; this isn’t Star Wars), it’s a scattered mess – Kelly’s ideas are just too broad – develop a book or TV series next time, Kelly, and remember that a puzzle needs to be fun to put together. 5

What Lies Beneath

What Lies Beneath (2000) – It’s well-directed, mostly, and Michelle Pfeiffer does a good job, but man, the script is dumb. 5

The Illustrated Man

The Illustrated Man (1969) – Only half of this Bradbury anthology’s stories are interesting (that’s the director’s fault), although they’re all too long, and they don’t play well together (that’s the writer’s fault); Steiger’s ranting and raving wear thin before the movie’s half over. 5