He-Man & She-Ra: A Christmas Special

He-Man & She-Ra: A Christmas Special (1985) – It spends too much time with a bunch of robots we don’t care about and haven’t seen before or since, and there’s other general silliness (e.g., the Laser Bolt flying), but it’s unrelentingly endearing, and “good” Skeletor is worth the price of admission all by himself – plus, Orko gets to hear the Gospel. 7

The Last Man

The Last Man (2000) – The characters may be realistic, but they aren’t very interesting or sympathetic, and this really hurts the film because there’s not much else going on, including comedy; Arnott turns in a good performance, but his character’s petty, hypocritical antics wear thin long before the end of the movie. 5

JCVD

JCVD (2008) – Van Damme, doing something along the lines of Shatner in Free Enterprise, is impressively self-referential and self-deprecating; most surprisingly, he demonstrates some very solid acting ability; the director does some things extremely well, but there isn’t enough story or depth for the running time, and the ending is bizarre. 6

The Final Inquiry

The Final Inquiry (2006) – The acting, direction, and screenplay in this Gospel-circling film are all subpar, the romance is eye-roll-inducing, and the condensed theatrical version makes big, awkward jumps in the story, but the film also does some things well, and even though it only scratches the surface on profound questions of faith and reason, by God if there isn’t a good film in here screaming to get out (although it might be The Robe); it’s kind of weird that they got the guy who played Pilate in The Passion of the Christ to play the same role here (It’s also weird to see Dolph in a movie like this, but he and his giant battle axe are welcome additions). 5

An American Werewolf in London

An American Werewolf in London (1981) – The special effects are quite impressive, but after a promising start, the film falls inertly into the vast horror/comedy no-man’s-land, and Landis doesn’t seem particularly interested in developing his story or in setting an immersive tone one way or the other. 5

Warning from Space

Warning from Space (1956) – Ye gods, do those aliens look silly; even so, this is a well-shot, well-staged, earnest and optimistic film, but unfortunately, the plot crawls with agonizing slowness as characters go about their everyday business for much of the film, and there’s some truly shoddy plotting going on as well. 4