Jonah Hex

Jonah Hex (2010) – Brolin turns in a quality performance, the score has an interesting metal influence, and there’s certainly potential here, but the film is broken by a formulaic script that borrows from all and sundry to deliver an unsatisfyingly predictable and barebones story. 5

Kingdom of the Spiders

Kingdom of the Spiders (1977) – The low budget shines through at every turn, from the hackneyed direction to the silliness to the obviously fake spiders to the sledgehammer dialogue to the astonishing proliferation of bad acting (which includes the tarantulas); nevertheless, the film does manage a couple of good moments, including the ending. 4

Defendor

Defendor (2009) – Woody does very compelling work, but this film would really have benefited from a more cohesive narrative, a better story, and some smarter cops; the biggest problem, though, is that it can’t ever settle on what it wants to be (it ends up, intentionally or not, being a sad depiction of mental illness with a little superhero destructionist flavoring). 5

In the Mouth of Madness

In the Mouth of Madness (1994) – It’s weird – too weird for its own good, maybe – but it’s got a good cast and a good score, it achieves a very nice surreal atmosphere, and it certainly captures the mad apocalyptic Lovecraftian stylings Carpenter’s going for. 6

The Last Dragon

The Last Dragon (1985) – What an utterly delightful film – maybe Taimak isn’t going to win any acting awards, but he gives us an endearing protagonist, and the Motown stylings work pretty well except for that horrific DeBarge/7^th Heaven sequence – and then there’s Julius Carry, whose iconic villain is the meanest, prettiest, baddest highlight of this vastly entertaining film. 7

Star Trek

Star Trek (2009) – It’s got a decent cast and some good moments (Chris Hemsworth’s scenes are the best of the film), but it’s also got as many plot holes, story problems, and incidences of stupidity (see comments) as it does lens flares; the end product is entertaining enough, but in a mindless “cool” action way, not an intelligent Star Trek way; never mind the old Trek films; in many ways, even Galaxy Quest is a better Star Trek film than this. 4